So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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