eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
