you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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