is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
PANTIES FOUND
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
