Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
