you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
