what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
