just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
