how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
