sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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