dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
barbara walters just said penis...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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