People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
do nipples grow back?
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