I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize