Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
sex in a hospital.. check
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
