dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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