My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
