new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
