I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
