Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize