the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
