Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
