Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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