Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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