We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
