kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When are your genitals available?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
