if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
