Christians are straight up FREAKS
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
