Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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