He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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