Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
