she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
