i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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