He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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