Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
