So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize