Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
