I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
