I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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