i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
