i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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