weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
