She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
