her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Your penis caused this!
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