I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
