May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
