You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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