His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize