Me too!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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