i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize