I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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