I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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