I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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