wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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