loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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