saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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