just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
