Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Panties = found
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
