Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
