Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
