youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
