some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
