I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
