16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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